Tatts

So I guess I should have been quiet about yesterday being so boring. A lot happened. The last thing running through my mind was writing a stupid blog, but as I woke up...I guess that's all I wanted to do. To talk about yesterday I have to talk about two days before. I gave myself two henna tattoos..one that was a heart on my wrist and one that was a D. on my hip. I think yesterday was the biggest turning point in my life. It's one of those days that you think your life is going to end, but you know its not because your over exaggerating. My stomach started hurting, and I went downstairs to see my parents, but little did I know stupid me had my hands on my hips and my mom saw something on my stomach. I tried to say it was nothing but she kept pushing me. I ran upstairs but my dad called me. The first thing I told him was "can I just show mom in private..its kind of personal". He said yeah sure..thank goodness a phone call saved me. She wasn't able to see that tatt yet but I had to do something to cover it up. I thought of cutting myself, but lets face it thats stupid. I thought of cover up..but that didn't work. I thought of eye shadow..making it look like a bruise..but that didn't work either. That damn big D was tooo big to cover up. I was scared and I started to cry. My mom said she'd tell my dad the truth. I cried like crazy. The first thing I did was call my boyfriend. That was stupid. He said everything was going to be okay..bullshit. My dad called me downstairs, he didn't even talk about the tattoo. He talked about school. He said I had to give him my cellphone at 10, go to bed early, do homework, and study. Study what? Its fucking summer. I guess I can read, but reading doesn't seem as appealing to me anymore. I guess I should call people, but I don't really need anyone. I think I can be better and solve this on my own. You'd think that I was smart enough not to fall for a stupid boy and write the letter of his first name on me. Geeez I can't think at all. I think I made him worried. He called and texted a lot. It was cute but, I wouldn't know what to say to him. What sucks the most is the fact that I lost my dad's respect and trust again. I didn't want this. I dont know when I'm going to be okay. It's too hard to think about. The anger towards my mom, the tears because of my dad, the confusion towards me. It's too much for a girl to handle. And I have to call my boyfriend sometime. He said he'd love me no matter what, maybe he deserves better. He shouldn't be stuck with someone like me. Someone with problems. I guess the only thing that I'm scared about is facing my dad. I didn't get in trouble for the D tatt, he just was stern about new rules he laid down. I'm scared that he's not going to make eye contact with me. I'm scared that he's not going to consider me his daughter like he did before. I'm scared. That's all I can really say.