let's fight

Why do you say that?
Why can't you do anything right?
Why can't you make me a priority?
Why are you acting this way?
What did I do?
I'm sorry Babe, I really am.
Why are you sorry?
You don't need to be sorry!
But, I feel bad. I mean it's my fault.
You didn't do anything.
Yeah I did.
Then what did you do?
I was saying absurd things. I wasn't thinking.
I guess.
I love you.
I know.

Quiet fills the conversation. Contemplating about things to say, wondering if I was wrong. Did I do something? What's up with the apology? We're still mad, right?

Why didn't you call?
I told you I was scared.
Why would you be scared to call?
I told you I was, didn't I?
I guess but you shouldn't be scared to call.
Well I thought you were mad.
I was, I said we'd talk about it.
You know what, you're right. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I should have called or texted you.

30 minutes later.

Go to sleep
No, you're in pain.
Just go to sleep.
I'm worried about you.
I wanna be there for you.
It's okay.
I feel like you can't take care of yourself.
I can feed myself, right?
Yeah I guess. You are really skinny now.
Thanks.

More silence.

We fought a lot this weekend.
More than we ever fought, baby.
I know.
I don't wanna fight wit you anymore.
Too bad we are.
We don't apologize to make it better, it doesn't work that way
Don't call me when you know I'm sleeping
Wtf, fine. I won't call when you're sleeping. Sorry.
I'm going to go.
I love you a lot baby, but you should know we are still fighting.

We fought that day, and I woke up thinking about how stupid our fights are. I love Daniel Tong so much and I want him in my life forever. I woke up thinking about how much I loved him. How much I wanted him to say "Baby, I love you. Let's stop fighting". I wanted him to tell me that he wishes that he could do something, that he wants to see me. Later I started crying around 3. I thought about how much I miss him, how much I asked out of him. If I could tell him anything, I would let him know how much he means to me. I would let him know that we both are stupid. We both want things we can't offer each other. I've said goodbye to him over thirty times and every time it's hard for me. Hard for both of us. The thing about Daniel Tong is that no matter how much we fight, no matter how much we dislike each other, no matter how frustrated we are, he will never stop loving me. He will never stop caring for me. I know that sometimes he tells me that he doesn't care for me, but I know he's lying. He's bad at lying now. He hates being cutesy. And I think that's cute. Whenever we have an alone moment, he'll always let me know how much he cares. We both agreed that this time was the hardest time for both of us. I don't know if I can wait two weeks anymore. I miss him. I miss holding his hand. I miss looking at him, and how I always see something new. I miss how I could hit him and he could hug me really tight. I hate how he makes me miss these things. He sucks. I hate how much I love him. Blaaaahp! Excuse me for being so mushy.