obviously

This is a venting blog. So don't even pay attention to my nonsense. It honestly is nonsense. Hahaha!

"It's weird". I've been saying that a lot. Things are weird. You know, I'm scared, but I don't know what I'm scared about. I guess it's that whole acceptance thing again. What's wrong with me? I want to be happy. Honestly, I do, by myself. Why do I feel like I need to be reassured or approved by something or someone? This whole college thing and SAT thing scares me. It scares me because this stupid test that UC's make us take is the acceptance. If I do bad, community college for me. I mean there's nothing wrong with community college, I just want to prove to my dad that I can do something. I want to prove to him that my high school life wasn't a waste. But I guess I really don't have to prove anyone anything but myself. I need to keep telling myself that.Myself, that's all I need to focus on. Alright, now repeat that like a hundred times.

My relationship has been solid. That's the only thing that's been going solid. Grades and classes keep fluctuating because I can't decide anything! But it's whatever. More on this relationship? Yes. I feel like this whole week has been "Lovers Lane" typa thing. A song goes on, that kinda sounds like me and him. Movie, wtf..that is me and him. A tv show, why are you doing this to me! Really though, do I have to miss him more? I started crying watching Kyle XY because it was about a boyfriend and a girlfriend breaking up because the girlfriend had to move, and Kyle helping someone go through a death. Just the emotion the boyfriend expressed made me cry. I tried to call him, but he was busy. It's okay. I'm getting used to not talking to him everyday. What sucks about our relationship is how we both are so busy. We really don't have time to talk to each other. And not talking leads to no updates. And that's bad because I always forget what I want to tell him. Ugh! Oh well.

--venting session done.
(I guess it wasn't really a vent, a more keep things inside my sorta thing. But, state the obvious so I understand things more)